Chapter Fifty-One

Jon closed the door behind his mother, she had insisted she check into a hotel to give them space at the apartment. It wasn't necessary but Jon knew by now not to argue with his mother. He reached for his cigarettes and knocked one out of the pack. MacKenzie had cleared away the tea and strolled back into the kitchen and Jon laughed at the shit-eating grin she couldn't hide.

"Pretty pleased with yourself I see?" His eyes wondered down her long legs, how was it she managed to serve his mother tea in just a satin robe? And not only that, his mother came out the other end of it liking her? Just when he thought he'd seen it all, MacKenzie always surprised him.

She stood with one leg around the other and grinned. "I'm something aren't I?"

Jon snorted as he reached for his lighter. "Oh yeah, you're something alright." Something he was damn lucky to have he realized. "I have no idea how you did that but I'm impressed Kenz. There is many a woman that's tried to melt the Ice Queen."

"Jon, that's no way to talk about your mother," she stepped closed and wound her arms up around his neck. "But I do have to say that her reputation does precede her. Like any good strong woman."

They bumped noses and he grinned. "Brown noser." He groaned as her knee slid up between his legs.

"Careful buddy. I know how to maim a man in less than five seconds."

He managed a small smile. "Now that I don't doubt."

Her brows furrowed. "What's wrong?"

He shrugged and kissed her lightly on the lips. "I'm fine, I'm just annoyed that I forgot thanksgiving." One thing Jon prided himself on no matter how crazy life got with the band or his seventeen different projects, he always found time for family. He never missed a birthday, he never missed a holiday and now this, and this clusterfuck in his life had nearly made him lose his pride.

She fingered the chain around his neck. "Don't feel bad Jon, you've had some real shit to deal with."

Her gaze lifted to his, she was right but it didn't make him feel any better. He was well out of his depth with what he was dealing with now. "What about the kids? I can't have thanksgiving without my kids." He wound his arms tightly around her waist and rested his head on hers. "It's too dangerous isn't it?"

MacKenzie soothed his back. "Yes it is, and you've got Dot to convince, unless Carol can convince her that we can put in tight security measures but do you really want to take the risk with them?"

He shook his head. This sucked. "No, of course I don't." He'd missed only ever missed one thanksgiving and that was due to heavy snow that prevented him flying back home when he needed to. The roads had been just as bad so he didn't attempt to get driven in it either. It just wasn't worth the risk of an accident or death, just like now. MacKenzie was bad enough, but if anything, god anything happened to his babies because of him...he would never forgive himself.

How would they even understand? It wasn't like he even had a tour to use an excuse? He really needed to talk to Dorothea on how to deal with that as he hated to think what she could come up with. God. His babies just over the river having thanksgiving without him -Was there seriously anything crueller than that? Fuck no.

"When this is all over, we'll take them on vacation or somewhere."

"We?" he asked surprised she sounded so comfortable with that. She stood back and took his hands.

"Yes we, that's ok isn't it?"

He remained still until her forehead creased. "Yes! Of course... I just didn't even think you'd want, or be ready for that. I mean if you didn't..." He laughed. "I'm so shit at this."

She gave him a warm smile. "You're better than you think. And of course, they're your kids, a part of you. If there was one thing I got right it was that I understand how much you love those kids. This has to be killing you inside out."

He twisted his finger through her hair, coughed through the lump that formed in his throat and nodded. "Yeah. It is. They're my babies."

"Oh Jon." She squeezed his hands. "I'm so sorry."

He dipped down and captured her mouth in a swift kiss. That MacKenzie just accepted his family was pretty amazing. Who wanted a guy with four kids? Remove all the facade of being famous, having everything, that's all he was in reality when it came down to a relationship. "I need a cigarette."

She wrapped her fingers around his wrist. "If I gave you an option of a cigarette or something else, what would you take?"

He raised a brow. "What exactly is 'something else'?" He grinned as her lips curved into a mischievous smile. He wanted nothing but to push her against the wall and wrap her long ropey runner’s legs around his waist and fuck her into the next century, but she was still injured.

MacKenzie stood back and twirled the end of her robe tie in a circle. "Do you want what is behind door number one?" She did a wide gesture to the slider that led out to his smoking spot. "Or..." she purred and his eyes dropped to her tie as she unravelled it."What's behind door number two?" She let it go and the robe floated open, enough for a flash of creamy skin and breast. His cock jumped and he dropped his cigarettes on the couch.

"I'm listening." Her co-worker was somewhere in the apartment but right now Jon didn't care. He wanted-no-craved to be inside her. He wanted his hands all over that firm but curvy body learning every inch, inside out. He needed the contact, something to take away the dull ache that throbbed inside him. "

Instead he wanted to throb inside of her.

She tied up her robe and stepped back when he took one forward. "I just thought we could--you know."

He cocked his eyebrow. The gleam in her eye was Kenzie all over, the Kenzie he'd missed. "Oh now I'm really listening." He stepped again and she hit the wall.

He grinned as he approached her and held out his hand, letting his fingers run down her jaw. "Oh no, whatever will you do now?" Oh he knew what she could do, she could probably dislodge his balls into his throat but instead she met his gaze with a coy smile.

"I seem to be stuck."

His eyes drifted down to the opening of her robe and then back to hers. "That is such a shame." He needed this, he needed to take control of her and if it was fucking her in the middle of the living area against the wall...So be it. His fingers traced down the curve of her breast, her nipples hardening instantly on touch.

She groaned as he drew lazy circles around her nipple, the tip straining through the satin. "Yes..." She tipped her head back and exposed that long lovely throat.

His lips slid down her neck, her moan vibrated against his throat. "I need you." His words were not a plea, they were a demand. Her ginger scented skin stirred him more, all those damn nights he was confined with her unable to feel, unable to touch, unable to make love to her. She titled his chin to meet her gaze which lingered on his lips for just a moment.

"Then have me Jon, have all of me." The fire in her eyes deepened as she kissed him fiercely. Her tongue invited his in a slow dance as she wound her arms around his neck and he melted into her.

He pushed the robe open, hooked one of her long silky legs over his hip and kissed his way down her neck. He kissed until he found the water soft curve of her breast and rested on the nipple. He drew it deep into his mouth as she writhed beneath him. His hand grabbed her ass and then slid around to the front. He smirked against her breast as there were no panties, nothing keeping him from reaching his target. He plunged one, then two fingers inside her eliciting long pleasurable groans from her. His hand became wet and his dick became hard.

He moved to the other breast, keeping her firmly pinned and at his mercy. Finally he was in charge, finally he had control of something. Her hands tunnelled into his hair as he edged down, pushing the rest of her robe open. He nipped across her abdomen and swirled his tongue around his navel. He slid from her grasp and onto his knees, his lips millimetres from her thigh. He could smell her, smell the need that dripped off her and it was all for him. He lifted a leg over his shoulder and took a long lick down the centre of her. "Fuck." He muttered as he took her in, drop by drop, teasing the ever loving hell out of her.

Her hands threaded through his hair as sipped from her. His tongue teased her clit and she quivered above him as she started to waver. He slipped his fingers back in and licked as he brought her to orgasm. She had barely a second to catch her breath as he shot back up and pressed himself against her. His mouth found hers and he kissed her, wholly, completely.

"Kenzie." He murmured as their teeth clicked and their noses bumped. Her body moulded around him like it was fit for no one except him. "Touch me Kenzie." Her eyes flashed with heat as she reached down to his buckle. She tugged the belt through the loop and let it thud to the floor.

His head fell back as her hand wrapped around his shaft and stroked the hot sensitive skin. Her clever fingers cupped him underneath and his thighs clenched. "Jesus." He took her face in his hand and kept his eyes on her as he enjoyed the simple pleasure of being touched. Fuck me. His body, tingling and his cock, rock hard.

He needed to lose himself in her, just for a moment. Things were beyond fucked up and he didn't know how to fix them so he needed this. Needed her.

Her leg hooked over his waist and he entered her firm and smooth. He linked both hands through hers and held them above her head as he began to fuck. That's all he could call it as he slammed into her, slap against slap. Sweat poured from his temples and but still he didn't take his eyes off her. She gasped and she moaned as he turned it up another notch, his fingers curling tight.

"Jon...God...oh god!"

For the first time he let himself go, released his hands and held her face in his hands as he kissed her with force as it built. Oh god it built. She gripped his biceps, he growled when her nails dug in. "Kenzie..." She bit her lips and closed her eyes. "Eyes on me...Kenz... eyes... oh fuck..."

Her eyes fluttered open and her mouth covered his as she screamed her way into release. He followed quickly and pounded out the orgasm until he fell flat on her shoulder with nothing but breath as loud as echoes left in the room. He held her, both still standing in the afterglow. He pushed back, his hands moving to her shoulders. "Wow."

She chuckled and pushed back his hair, slick with sweat. "You can say that again."

"I just---god I just lost... Jesus...are you ok?" He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"There might be a Kenzie-shaped hole in the wall when you finally pull me away, but you know a good plasterer right?"

He grinned, for the first time in days with ease. "God love you Kenzie Cooper." He kissed her again, this time sweet and slow.

"I'm not sure god loves me after that, but you'll do just fine."

He laughed and wrapped his arm around her neck tugging her in tight. Thank god he had her, just thank god he had her.

Update -- Break.

I'm taking a break from writing. Not that I really was posting a lot anyway with everything going on and I feel like I was forcing the story just so I could post. So much has happened in the last few months in my life off-line and I haven't been able to keep a clear head about things or simply just enjoy writing.

I hope you understand and this isn't the end for Mac and Jon. I'll keep trying to move forward with the story and I'll keep trying to get back into writing. I've got a clear break over the Xmas holidays so I'm hoping I can start over from there. Of course in the next couple of weeks I have seven Bon Jovi concerts as well, so that never hurts the muses. ;)

I have many more plans for these guys and including my new story with Devon and Jon, but I just simply haven't been able to give them the effort that they deserve.

So just letting you know where I'm at :)

Hopefully it won't last too long.

Kiwi :)

Chapter-Fifty

Jon dumped himself in the chair opposite Carol, he forgot thanksgiving? Christ. It wasn't unusual for him to forget family events but thanks giving? It was just one of the many indicators that his life had been way too crazy over the last few weeks. "Mom, I'm sorry I forgot. Things have been shall we say a little hectic around here?"

Carol leaned back and her gaze drifted towards the kitchen. "So I see. So who is she? A football coach's daughter?"

Jon's eyes widened. "Mom! I am capable in finding a real relationship once and a while."

Her steely eyes narrowed, he'd seen that look one too many times in his lifetime. "That's debatable honey."

His fingers dug into his bicep."She's a good woman, she's a personal investigator and she was my... well...” here we go. "Bodyguard."

Carol snorted. "Bodyguard? Please Jon. I maybe old but I'm not stupid. You'd never hire a woman to protect you."

That was true until this all happened. "Yes but that was before I was attacked, remember I left you a note about that?"

Carol nodded, "yes the car thing? I thought that was just a mistaken identity?"

Jon cringed. "That's what I ended up telling you. They were after me as it turns out."

"What?" Her face fell as white as a sheet. "After you for what exactly?"

Oh boy. The expression was reminiscent of when in their younger years when he told on his brothers for locking him in the basement. She was mad. "Well that's the thing Mom, we don't actually know."

She slapped her hands on the arms of the couch. "What do you mean you don't know? I'll get Daniel on the case! You can't just sit here like a sitting duck! Do they want money? Or is it one your crazed fans, I'll get Matt to monitor those Fan Club forums, see if we can pin-point any suspicious activity.

Jon held up his hand. "It's not a fan. Far from it. It's to do with the Soul." He took a deep breath and started the story about Wes and how he hired MacKenzie to do a background check on him which subsequently led to his exclusion from the squad.

"And now they're trying to hurt you? What about your family? The kids... Dorothea...have you told them all this?"

Jon rolled his eyes back into his head as he closed them. "Yes Mom, part of this arrangement is that MacKenzie had arranged twenty-four hour surveillance on my property. I wasn't completely honest with Dot in the beginning either as I wanted to protect them all, but that didn't work for too long."

"You didn't tell her? God Jon! Well least I wasn't the only one in the dark of this ridiculous situation, what if they'd wanted to go after me or your father?"

"Mom we had no evidence to suggest that, MacKenzie had already looked into all the possibilities."
Carol tucked her pink silk scarf over her shoulder and straightened her white pant suit jacket. "Well just as well I'm here. I don't know what sort of a mickey-mouse kind of operation she is running but it's clearly not adequate in the very least."

Jesus Christ. He rubbed his temples. Why couldn't he have remembered what date it was earlier and called her to defer plans on coming here? Now he wasn't going to get any damn peace until she was satisfied. "Mom, listen to me. We've done everything possible and you have no idea what we've been through..." It was weird. He wasn't exactly always an open person but what he and MacKenzie had been through together in the last few weeks he didn't want to share with anyone. One reason was that he behaved like an idiot and ended up nearly getting her shot and the second it was something between them that he didn't want to share with anyone else. "MacKenzie has been fantastic-"

"Of course you'd say that, you're sleeping with her."

Jon looked up as MacKenzie rested down the tray onto the table between them. "Here we go."

Jon winced; she would have heard it all but this was MacKenzie. He was sure she wouldn't really take offence to it that easily and he secretly wondered how she'd deal with his mother. They weren't many women that Jon could back to take on his mother whether they were right or wrong, but MacKenzie was definitely one of them.

She laid out the teacups and poured tea like a professional hostess. "I take it you're not happy about the situation Carol?" MacKenzie handed her a teacup.

"Not happy is a little polite, but yes."

MacKenzie nodded and held up a tiny china jug. "Milk?"

Carol nodded and her cup out while she poured. MacKenzie then picked up the sugar but Carol shooed it away. "No sugar. So what do you have to say for yourself since you seem to be at the centre of this incompetence?"

"Mom..." he warned but MacKenzie held her hand up to Jon.

"Fair observation from your point of view. I'd probably have the exact same opinion as you until I had a clear explanation. But having said that I know you came from the same background as I did and you should know very well the rules of engagement. Only involve those that need to know. There was no reason to communicate it further than a select circle when the research had proved that the gang had no interest in you or his family. They used it as a threat but we concluded it was a watery threat more than anything to promote an emotional reaction from the victim. We still went ahead and put security in place with three external security firms that report directly to one of the guys in my firm and I have at least three people qualified as detectives on the case."

Jon sat back not even disgruntled that she didn't pour him a cup of tea as the two woman locked down. MacKenzie reminded him of when he first met her. Very clear and to the point. Holy shit this was fantastic! His mother didn't even look at him as she listen to MacKenzie explain off her game plan, which she still backed one hundred per cent despite the incidents that had occurred.

"How close have they got to Jon or you?" Carol didn't break her stony stare but she was still absorbing it all in.

MacKenzie looked at Jon and then back to Carol. "There was one incident when I went to a warehouse based on a tip off that ended in not so friendly fire and I was injured, bullet grazed my temple here." She pointed to the now smaller square that sat stuck to her head.

"Well that was stupid, did you go with back up?"

Jon clicked his molars. "Kenzie..." His mother was going to yell after this. "That's not quite true."

"Jon you don't need to..."

"Don't need to what?"

God bless her. The problem was his mother was a human lie detector, always had been. Jon lied a lot, especially around the press but when it came to his mother...no way. No way was that even possible. He reached out and took MacKenzie's hand. "You don't have to do that Kenzie. She was coming after me."

The china clattered as she dropped her cup onto the saucer. "They took you?"

Jon shook his head. "No I agreed to meet them to discuss the situation. I hated the situation, I felt like a caged animal and I had no control over anything anymore. I was being a prick to MacKenzie so I decided I needed to deal with the situation myself..."

"Oh my stars...Are you stupid?"

"Carol it was pretty tense around here. Jon was coming to the end of his sanity and I didn't help."

"Don't you dare stick up for him! Christ! Jon what in the world were you thinking? Taking on thugs, unarmed? Unprotected? I know you think you're damn Superman sometimes but this is just a new level of stupidity."

Jon swallowed. Well least she wasn't yelling at MacKenzie anymore. "I know now it was a dumb move. I get that."

"So you went after him? And were nearly shot dragging his ass out of there?" She directed her attention back to MacKenzie.

She nodded. "Yes, after he went missing my colleague David, who you met in the lobby tracked him down and I went after him first while David arranged backup."

"I see."

"The friendly fire wasn't actually at us, the gang had some visitors when I arrived there and found Jon hiding in the warehouse. We just got caught in it and I was knocked out so Jon had to cope with that."

His fingers curled around the edge of the chair as the adrenaline surged inside of him at the memory. Luck had always gone well for him and he could count the times on one hand that he feared for his life and this was definitely one of them. He would never forget the way she lay crumpled in his arms and her blood dripping all over him... never.

Carol raised her brow. "Well I'm glad you were there MacKenzie to realize what he'd done and that you weren't severely hurt. So thank you for saving him." She turned to Jon. "You however were stupid to even put her in that position. Thank god she had some brains as you sure as hell didn't."

Jon's eyes widened. Well shit. MacKenzie gave him a small smile and mouthed "Ouch."

"I realize that now. I wasn't thinking straight at all." His eyes met MacKenzie's, her eyes were warm and understanding. His Mom didn't need all the details about their relationship and how much confusion and complication it had added to the whole situation.

"What about the kids and Dorothea? They know about this?"

Jon rubbed the back of his neck. "Yes she does now and she's banned me from seeing the kids until it's sorted out."

"Well I don't blame her Jon, how could you not tell her? It's one thing to not tell us but she's the mother of your children," her eyes darted to MacKenzie. "No matter what sort of relationship you are in now."

"That's not how it was Mom. I didn't tell her because I didn't want them to know or for it to be obvious that she knew, not to them..."

MacKenzie leaned in, as though to snap the tension his Mom held against him.
"It was more my idea Carol. Again...forgive me if I'm wrong but you know all this. Protect the innocent..."

Carol turned and faced her. "Who do you think you are? I know you've obviously done extensive background checks on us all but don't pretend to know me because of what is written on a piece of paper."

"Mom--"

"No Jon. I won't have it. I've sat here and all I've heard is this cop now private investigator, hell security guard explain this, lord does she juggle too?"

"Carol if you'll just let me explain..." MacKenzie stood but Carol continued her rant.

Jon knew it was pointless to argue... but only lifted his eyebrow when MacKenzie stood with her arms at her side to attention. What the fuck? He then grinned as he figured her out.

"I am an American, fighting in the forces which guard my country and our way of life. I am prepared to give my life in their defence. I will never surrender of my own free will. If in command, I will never surrender the members of my command while they still have the means to resist."

Carol stopped in her tracks. "You're---one of us?" She stood and saluted MacKenzie while he nearly fell off his chair.

"Yes ma’am. I served as a Marine for five years."

"Really? Where did you train and where did you serve?"

MacKenzie sat back down when Carol did. Well fuck me. If he'd just told his mother that at the beginning he could have avoided the Carol-o-lecture.

"I did my training at Quantico up in Vancouver. You could say I wanted to get as far as way from here as possible, I was drafted out into Seattle and Cali, and then I moved back into New York State and did some training on combat and then self-defence before I decided to become a cop."

Her eyes met his across the room and he nodded. In some ways he and MacKenzie had lived similar but different lives. He couldn't imagine what that sort of loss felt like. That would have been like losing Dorothea when they were just starting out, just when he was starting out with the band. He wasn't sure if that had happened he would have recovered as well as she had or turned out just like he had today. He had learned to apply the same discipline in his life that she had and his parents were probably more to thank for that with their military background.

"Wow, well from marine to cop, you've certainly had a colourful life MacKenzie. Did you parents serve as well?"

She shook her head. "No they didn't. Mom is an interior designer and Dad is a lawyer. They're both semi-retired in Pensacola now."

Carol nodded. "Well then. I guess we'll have to meet them sometime if this thing with you and my son is anything serious."

Jon's brow winged. Should he leave the room now? If he came back would they been engaged? Hell. He seemed invisible since the "marine" word had been mentioned. Hell, he wasn't complaining especially his mother liked Kenzie not that he ever worried about her approval. He stopped worrying about that a long time ago. "Mom...we've just started seeing each other. Really there is no need to rush into anything like that."

MacKenzie laughed. "And I'm still deciding whether I want him." She winked at Jon as he pursed his lips. She had gone from woman-encroaching on son running a mickey mouse operation to best prospect for a daughter-in-law in what seconds? Jesus Christ.

"Ha ha."

Carol eyed him and then smiled at MacKenzie. "Well good thing MacKenzie is here. Maybe she can stop you from any future stupid life-threatening decisions."

"Carol, it wasn't completely-"

Jon stood in, wrapped his arm around MacKenzie and squeezed her shoulder. If he had to be the guy to take the fall in front of his Mom, it was worth it. He knew she felt just as guilty as he did for the mis-mash of the relationship that had caused all the confusion and most of all the distraction from her job. "Yes I guess I am lucky Mom." He pressed a kiss to her temple. There was no need to go into it in front of Carol as he was used to not sharing details of his business to his Mom so this wouldn't be any different.

Carol sipped her tea and paused. "Well I guess there is only one more thing to do."

Jon raised his brow. "And that is?"

"Plan a thanksgiving dinner, let's go and see what you've got in your pantry. We can order what we need in and take it from there, are you getting Jenny in this year?"

Jon winced. "Jenny moved back to Connecticut, I haven't had a cook for a few months now."

"Why don't we do it?" MacKenzie asked casually.

Carol nodded. "Operation Turkey. You're on, I'll go and check out the supplies and we'll take it from there." Carol got up and left them in the living room.

Jon chuckled. "Man, have you just asked for a death wish."

MacKenzie elbowed him. "Hey you haven't seen me in the kitchen."

Jon snorted. "Yeah there's a reason for that." He dodged her next elbow nudge but captured her in a swift kiss. He pushed back her hair from her face and traced his thumb down her cheek. "You must be the first woman I've ever had that's impressed my Mom and ganged up with her on me."

MacKenzie's gaze fell to his lips. "Aw are you feeling a little vulnerable?"

He smirked and ran his finger across her lips. "I'll give you vulnerable...you just wait."

Her eyes met his and she raised her brow as she snuck one more kiss in.

"Bring it on."

Chapter Forty-Nine

Jon carefully unravelled Mackenzie’s arms and legs from around him and slid out of the bed. The morning was bold, bright and hopeful through the windows, a bit like the newly formed relationship with the woman who lay strewn out over the bed. She moaned and rolled sinking face first into the pillows so he could easily achieve his getaway. He needed a cigarette and some fresh air to clear his head. He knew it was right in his heart but it felt so weird to be that close to someone again since his wife. Last night's talk and then subsequent love-making sessions cemented that well and truly but none of this disguised the face that they were still at risk and someone wanted to hurt him.




He stepped into jeans and tugged on a loose tee. Ommph. A stray pillow hit the back of his legs. He narrowed his eyes and turned around to MacKenzie sitting upright wrapped in a sheet.



"Going somewhere?"



God love woman. Dishevelled and sexy, her hair resembled some sort of birds nest and her cheeks were flushed and lips supple. "I was going to have a cigarette and get some coffee..." He folded his arms and leaned against the door frame. "I take it you're interested in coffee?"



She lay back and grinned. "I'd be interested in something else too..." She scissored her legs letting sheet come free from around her.



He groaned. "You're evil. Stay there and behave, I'll be back." Christ. Her athlete's libido was going to kill him.



"Wait! A kiss?"



How could he really resist? He leaned over the bed and met her lips in gentle kiss. His eyes flew open as she tugged him by his tee-shirt and he tumbled on top of her.



She hooked her leg over his waist and locked in him place. “Now what are you gonna do lover?”



“Kenzie…..Jesus…” He chuckled as her eyes danced with mischief.



“That’s it—no more sex for you. It's going straight to your head.” He smoothed back her hair and shook his head.



“You're really complaining about the sex?”



He groaned as her hand slid down over his belly but he captured it before she got any further. “Kenzie, you are terrible! You’re meant to be resting.”



She held his gaze and her lips kicked up at the sides. “Is that your daddy face?”



He rolled his eyes. “Believe me you don’t want to see my daddy face.”



She smirked into the next kiss he gave her. “Oh I don’t know about that.”



He laughed as she wriggled beneath him. It was good to see her laugh and be alive again, of course he felt like he seventeen again trying to sneak in more sex at home. "I'm going out there and if you're still horny when I get back..." He pushed himself off her and shifted himself in his jeans. Horny certainly wouldn't be a problem for him dammit. He poked his tongue out at her as he slipped out the door, surprised to see David coming towards him.



"Hey Jon. Sorry to disturb you but there is a woman who's demanding to see you and she's not taking no for an answer."



Jon frowned. Dot would have called him if she needed anything urgently and he'd snagged his phone on the way out of the bedroom. He checked it quickly - no missed calls or texts. "That's odd, where is she?"



"She's still in the lobby. I've asked the doorman to hold all guests until on site approval. Are you happy for me to go down?"



Jon nodded. "Of course. I just need a cigarette so I'll do that. Buzz me if you need me. If it's Dorothea bring her straight up."



David nodded and headed out the door. Jon pulled back the slider and flipped a cig out of the pack. Blessed Fresh air. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.



"Sex on the balcony could be fun." A voice purred from behind him.



He raised a brow and turned around and almost wished he hadn't. Kenzie stood in a short satin navy robe that floated above her knees with the ties dangling and the edges gaping open. He swallowed, damn nothing left to the imagination. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" His eyes ran down her long athletic legs, this was so not helping the hard on he had since leaving the bedroom.



She casually picked up one of the ties and twirled it around innocently. "I seem to have lost the way... maybe you could show me." Her eyelashes fluttered and her lips curved into a brilliant smile.



He flicked his ash and threw away the end of his cigarette. "For a tough-ass you really are a little naughty." He reached out and wound his arms around her waist.



She pressed herself against him and her mouth found his. "Like you're complaining buddy."



"Angel!"



His eyes popped open and he pushed MacKenzie back. "Aw fuck, Mom! Quick cover yourself up." His mom? What the hell was she doing here? Fuck Fuck Fuck. He'd kept his parents in the dark about everything, the relationship, the gang...everything. It wasn't unusual but she was going to go a little crazy when she found out about it all. Great, just fucking what he needed on top of all this shit.



MacKenzie chuckled as she tied herself back up. "Now who's a bad boy seducing woman on the balcony huh?"



"It's not funny, you'll understand why soon enough." He hissed as he nudged past her into the living room where David had just made it in the door behind her.



"Sorry Jon, she was insistent and wouldn't let me come and get you."



Jon kissed his mother on the cheek. "It's OK, and insistent? My mother? Nooo...." He plastered the every-things alright smile across his face as she hugged him back.



"You look surprised to see me Angel."



He stepped back from his Mom as MacKenzie came into the living room. "Well you didn't call."



"It's thanksgiving in a few days. I never call."



Jon pinched the bridge of his nose. "Aw fuck. It is isn't it? Sorry there's been a bit going on... I didn't even realize it was that time of the month."



Carol peered over Jon's shoulder to MacKenzie. "I see that. And who is the bouncer you've got on the door?"



Jon didn't have time to answer as MacKenzie stepped forward and stuck out her hand. "Hi Carol I'm MacKenzie. It's a pleasure to meet you."



He could see his mother eyeing her from top to bottom before she offered her hand. "Hello MacKenzie, I wasn't aware you were seeing anyone Jon."



Like he told her every woman he slept with, she wasn't that stupid, she just enjoyed unnerving the women in his life. "No, it's a long story. MacKenzie has been working for me." He popped his knuckles, where the hell did he start? Oh yeah a gang is after me and I am sleeping with my bodyguard who I almost got shot? Yeah fucking brilliant.



"Jon, why don't you and your mom sit down and I'll get everyone a drink and you can tell her what's been going on?"



She nodded at MacKenzie. "I think that's a very good idea. I'll take tea MacKenzie."



She winked at Jon before she left. "Be right back."



~



MacKenzie escaped to the kitchen and couldn't help but laugh. She'd met the one woman that derailed him, his mom. He was a little jumpy and Mackenzie’s bet was as soon as he told Carol what had been going on, she was going to freak out. She popped on a pot of tea and checked her hair was semi reasonable in the reflection in the door of the stainless steel fridge. She didn't know a lot about Carol but one thing she knew was she was a woman that didn't take any bullshit. Carol and Dorothea apparently got on well according to Jon so there was another reason Carol probably hated her instantly. Oh well, if she could handle jumped up men in the military which there had been no shortage of over the years, she could handle someone like Carol.



She stacked some cups on a tray along with sugar and cream before she removed the tea off the stove and into a teapot.



"The intimidating mother in law huh?" David grinned as he came into the kitchen, swung open the fridge and scooped out a PowerAde.



MacKenzie dropped the lid on the teapot and scoffed. "Puh lease. She'll be more concerned that her angel has been not telling her the truth what's been going on. I'm more worried for him, me? I can take care of that easily."



David laughed. "Be gentle on her. What were you two doing? I'm aware that you didn't know she was going to arrive but hell I'm in the apartment too. I don't want to cop an eyeful of you two naked alright?" He chugged down some PowerAde and snapped the cap back on.



"I thought you were in the gym, I was just gonna drag him back to bed...as you do."



David leaned against the doorway. "Well Mac it's damn good to see you happy, I don't want to burst your bubble but we will have to focus on the gang stuff when you feel up to it. I'm not letting you near it for a couple of days yet."



She nodded. It had been almost like a bubble too, a happy bubble of love and happiness that she wasn't used to having and avoiding all the reasons why it happened in the first place. She and Jon needed it though. She suspected with both of them now sorted they could concentrate on being conscientious with security but Mac also knew having David around to oversee it all instead of her would take off the pressure. November had flown by quickly but hell she didn't expect it to be close to thanksgiving. It would be hard for Jon in this situation; he couldn't see his kids thanks to Dorothea, something else she was sure Carol wasn't going to be impressed about. "Yeah I know we do. I'm really worried about it but I'm just trying to concentrate on what's in front of us for the moment."



David patted her on the back. "I know. I've got a few ideas but we'll wait a couple of days. I'll let you have the honeymoon period."



She turned and wrapped her arms around him. "I don't know how I would have got through this without you here. So thank you." David had saved her, he may not have been there when all the drama happened but he saved her from herself making her realize that loving Jon isn't a bad thing after all and neither is giving up the control of a case in this situation. He stepped in when she needed him even though she didn't know it, but that was David and why she trusted him more than anyone for so long.



"Your welcome Mac and don't worry we'll sort this out. I promise. Now go and meet your mother in law."



"Pfff she's not my mother in law, and her I can handle." She winked as she picked up the tray and walked back into the living room. This was going to be fun.

Chapter Forty-Eight

MacKenzie woke to utter stillness. She lay on her side, her head resting on her hand which palmed flat against a warm chest. She smiled and blinked, adjusting to the room only lit by the skyline in the distance. Arms wound tight around her shoulders keeping her close and secure. She sighed, it had been a long time since she let a man be her security, probably not since Brian to be truthful. She felt protected instead of being the one protecting. The steady rise and fall of his chest with the gentle pulse of his heart beat under her hand could have been right out of a romance novel. She fingered the downy hair on his chest and wondered how she ended up here.

Stop over thinking for once Mac.

It had been hard to love or even consider love again after Brian. Brian was such puppy love as well and MacKenzie never had really recovered from losing him so young. She doubted that deep down she ever would. What she and Jon had was different, of course she was much older now so the love was richer. She chuckled, love. Who would have ever thought? And in typical MacKenzie style it had taken something ridiculous and dangerous to make her realize it.

She patted around for his phone that must have fallen to the side somewhere. A few games of that damn pig smashing game, and she'd be right.

He stirred under her. "You ok?" He mumbled sleepily and attempted to sit up.

She touched his arm. "Shhh I'm fine, sometimes painkillers keep me awake...I'm fine Jon." She groaned when he flipped the bed side light on. "Ugh. You didn't have to do that." She buried her head into his side until her eyes adjusted.

"I could make you that tea."

She rested her chin on his chest and looked up into sleepy blue eyes. "You don't have to Jon. I'm ok, I can play some games on your phone--on silent."

He flipped back the bed cover. "You silent? Yeah right. I'll make some tea babe and get you those cookies." He rolled her gently off him, got off the bed and padded towards the kitchen.

She flopped back down into the pillows. She wasn't used to having someone run around after her either and care for him the way he was for her. She'd always taken care of herself for so long. It was kinda nice though she had to admit, having a man fuss around after her. Her man. Now that would be something to get used to. She arched back and rubbed her forehead. David had forbid her talking about any work but she was anxious to know if he'd uncovered anything more or if they had figured anything new out. But he repeatedly told her that they were safe in the apartment and that's all she had to worry about for now.

She flopped over onto her side, she was restless. Would she be able to date a guy that had an instant family? His kids were fantastic but there was a difference with a playful picnic and a longer responsibility with them. She'd never seen herself with kids this late in her life, maybe if things had been different with her and Brian she might have. She reached out for his phone but before her fingers could curl around it he came back into the room steadily carrying a wooden tray.

"Oy. No playing with the toy." He rested it down gently on the bed looking pleased with himself. "The only toy you play with is me."

She raised her brow and smiled coyly. "Is that so?" He fussed and made the tea and handed it to her. "I don't think anyone has made me tea in bed ever." She picked up a cookie off the plate he offered and took a bite.

He lay back, propped himself up against the pillows beside her with his own tea. "No boyfriends have ever made you breakfast in bed? Hell even I can stretch to that."

She smiled. "Nope. I never stuck around long enough for that sort of thing." She glanced over at him as he took a sip of his tea.

He arched one brow. "We're totally going to have the talk aren't we?"

She took a bite of her cookie and shrugged. "Depends, there's not much to talk about really is there? You're divorced and I've been single for a long time, probably because my college boyfriend died." She rubbed her chest, the small niggle still surfaced every once and awhile when her mind flashed back to that day with him and the blood, god there was so much blood. The sadness was still heavy in her heart but with each moment and each year that passed by it faded slowly. Part of her was scared to let it fade completely but now she was sitting here with an opportunity to truly let go and love again. She loved Jon but could she give absolutely everything over to him? Everything.

He was silent and then turned on his side to face her. "How hard was it to get over it?"

She didn't meet his eyes, she swirled her tea around in the cup and waited until it calmed. "Pretty tough." She closed her eyes as he stroked the top of her head.

"We don't have to talk about it Kenzie, I'm sorry baby."

She traced her finger around the edge of cup and shrugged. "It's ok, everyone has a chink in their armour right? This is mine." She'd trained in the armed forces, she'd been through hell and back, dragged a two hundred man on her shoulders waist deep in mud but nothing, absolutely nothing compared to the pain of losing her best friend. It hadn't been all bad, if Brian hadn't died she wouldn't be who she was today. She wouldn't have ever gone into this field and done many awesome things she'd only have dreamed about.

The tips of his fingers traced around her jaw. "You don't blame yourself for what happened do you?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't blame myself for what happened. I only wish I knew what to do in that situation to save him, maybe if I stayed there...maybe if I just..." Her voice was barely a whisper as the words choked in her throat.

"Kenz, you were just a girl. You don't truly believe that do you?"

She shrugged. "I honestly don't know."

Jon lifted her cup and rested it down on the bedside table. He wrapped his arms around her and killed the light. "C'mere."

The darkness surrounded her with his arms and she felt safe again. She closed her eyes and leaned against his chest and took a deep breath. "I look back now and it robbed my last years of being a kid and I let it---I decided to run away from it all and deal. I signed up for the marines just two weeks after his death. I didn't go to homecoming, I didn't walk back into a pep rally or football game again." She shuddered as she kept the memories tight.

"When things like that happen to us Kenzie, they do change us and they force us to be an adult faster than we want. It's not a bad thing you did what you did. Look at you now, you're this amazing strong woman. This is just a part of you that made you who you are. It happens to the best of us."

She rang her fingers through his chest hair. "I know. It feels silly. It was over twenty years ago now and it still hurts as much as it did when it happens sometimes."

He rested his cheek against her head. "It's not silly because it matters to you. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Is that why you became a bodyguard ultimately? To make sure that Brian didn't ever die again?"

The tears flowed a little too freely as she nodded into his chest. "Mainly, and it's been the best thing I've done, and then I met you..."

"You say it like it's a bad thing." He chuckled as his hand dragged lightly down her back.

"Of course it's not. I just didn't want to love you...just in case." It was silly really. Mackenzie had learnt in her training to deal with the facts and follow her gut instincts but the one thing it never taught her was how to deal with her heart.

"Because something might happen to me? Oh Kenzie."

"I know that's not what you need to hear from the woman that was supposed to be protecting you, but it's true."

"I'm so sorry for going out there on my own to them, if I had realized that...god I'm stupid."

She rested her chin on his chest and looked up. "No you're not. I know why you did it. No one likes to feel like a caged animal Jon, especially a control freak."

He jabbed his fingers in her side lightly. "Hey, look who's talking."

She laughed. "True true." She shimmied up and found his face. She dropped a light kiss onto his lips. "Thank you." He relaxed his arms around her and clasped his hands, resting them on her lower back.

"Anytime. There's a big soft spot to you MacKenzie Cooper."

She kissed his nose. "Shh just don't tell anyone or I really will have to kill you."

He laughed through the darkness. "You're pretty amazing. If I'm honest, my reservations about this relationship were also to do with past relationships."

It was a rare moment for both of them to be so open with each other but Mackenzie had never felt so at ease with someone talking on this level. "Your marriage? So what really happened?" She heard things, even read them when she did his background checks but she was smart enough to know that the media only ever told one side of the story.

He sighed. "I was an asshole. We both weren't perfect but I certainly didn't help the situation. We may have been married but we were definitely living separate lives for the last few years of it. Dorothea is a lot like you. Strong willed and independent."

"Gee thanks, that's one way to win over the new girlfriend." She linked her finger through the chain around his neck and twisted it gently.

"Brat, what I mean is she was so independent she didn't need me."

"Ahhh so you too have a chink. You need to be needed." She felt him tense but relax again under her.

"Yep, that's me. I need to be needed but Dot grew out of it, and I grew out of needing her or wanting her."

"Did you cheat?"

He nodded. "There were a couple of one nighters in there. And there hadn't been since about 1995, where we hit a rough spot. It's how I knew it wasn't working."

"So the articles are true. You are no saint."

He snorted. "You read them?"

"Research darlin'. I needed to know who you were. And seriously Jon the stuff out there about you in that regard is so minimal, you've done well to keep it out of the limelight in comparison to others."

"Thanks. I always wanted to, for the kids. They don't need to see that crap. Dot and I used to still go to bed as a husband and wife and then once the kids were asleep, I'd go and sleep in the spare room."

"Oh Jon..."

"Of course that didn't work too well when you had a two year old son that was going through the terrible twos of nightmares."

"Yikes, did you use the Daddy was snoring excuse?"

"Yep, or the Daddy's too restless and keeping Mommy awake. I am a restless sleeper at times."

"Gee thanks for the heads up." She tucked her face into the crook of his neck. The warmth and the intimacy of the night was a rare comfort for MacKenzie and she decided she liked it, a lot. Her and Jon were similar and she needed this between them. She needed this and it had been missing from her life for a long time.

"Oy. You're getting that smart ass back on, and here I am opening up my heart to you."

MacKenzie slid her leg through his as the tangled themselves together. "Alright then. I have a question for you then. What will the difference be between your marriage and what we have?"

"Jesus. Way to start out with the easy questions."

"Well, I wanna know. I wanna know what made you think this would be any different than your marriage since Dorothea and I have common traits."

He tilted her chin, "Honestly I don't know what will happen here. I want it work and I love you. You may be similar to her but hell, you're different as well. You get me, I can be an ass sometimes but that's just me. I'd like to think I get you too. Dot never got me."

MacKenzie smiled. "I do get you. I know how to handle you. And regrettably I think you know how to handle me too."

He smoothed back her hair and rolled her onto her back. "So I passed?" She groaned as his hand slid under her top and cupped her breast. He met her lips with his and kissed her firm and long. Pleasure crackled between them as the kiss went deeper.

"I think you're going for extra credit now." She murmured as his thumb rolled over her nipple.

He smiled into the kiss. "I always do."

Chapter Forty-Seven

Jon brushed his teeth and spat in the basin, he chuckled as the cursing drifted in from the bedroom. He'd found one way to keep her amused to his own detriment. She'd been playing some game for the last hour on his phone that warranted swearing and trash talk to the screen while he cleaned up and got ready for bed. He'd decided Kenzie would stay in the bedroom with him, hell they'd made it clear where they both stood so why not. Didn't mean they had to be doing anything while she was in recovery.

"Son of a bitch!"

He rolled his eyes as pigs manically laughed from his iPhone. She'd lost, again. He wiped his mouth, pulled a wad of floss and leaned against the door frame and faced the bedroom fighting twitch of his lips. He knew her well enough to know that when her brows furrowed and her jaw clenched she was pissy. Not that he would do such a thing.

"What?" She barked, her eyes not leaving the screen of his phone.

"Looooser." He made the L gesture on his forehead.

Her face etched in concentration didn't flicker. "This game is fundamentally flawed."

He snorted. "Why? Because you didn't win?"

"No--I was completely accurate in my firing. It's off."

He shook his head. "Of course it is, are you in any pain? Need to take anymore meds?"

"Nope....YES!" She screamed in delight waving the phone high in the air.

"Will I get to use that to text my kids tonight?"

She waved him away again. "Yeah yeah, I'm nearly finished the level."

"That's what you said an hour ago." Jon mumbled and shook his head. God love her, her hair was piled on the top of her, spilling down the side of her perfect face that now bore a few battle grazes. The snug tank top did nothing for the tightness in his pants, showing off her perfect breasts.

"Why don't you go and make us some tea? And then I'll be done. Ohhh and maybe a couple of those white chocolate and raspberry cookies would go nicely with that."

He rolled his eyes. "I just brushed my teeth."

She snorted. "Well that was silly then wasn't it?"

Jesus Christ. He didn't know if he wanted to snap at her or tackle her. Hmm, definitely tackle. And then he'd take her, like she'd never been taken before.

"Jon?"

"Huh?"

"Tea?"

He folded his arms and shrugged. "Maybe I don't want tea."

She narrowed her eyes and her lips tightened. "I'll get it myself then." Before she could reach to turn over the sheet like the stubborn patient she was, he crawled back up onto the bed and pinned her. The smell of her spicy lotion swirled between them, when the hell had she put that on? He swore to god that smell would haunt him forever. His face hovered above hers as he braced her thighs in-between his knees. "Drop the phone." His eyes flicked down to her lips and then back to her eyes. Her breath hitched as he lowered his mouth slowly to hers. "Drop it."

His fingers walked up the sheet over the curve of her breast innocently grazing her nipple which pebbled immediately, he grinned.

"I thought I was supposed to be resting." Her hand came up to his cheek as she cupped his jaw.

His lips barely apart from hers, the need crackled between them he leaned in. "I've changed my mind." The kiss was slow and sweet at first and then he took it deep. He brushed back her hair and let his tongue slide home. She moaned and he swallowed it, feeling her pulse flutter under him. His lips left hers and slid down the long lovely line of her neck. "Kenzie." He mouthed against her ear, her soft body sliding with his.

He wasn't an emotional guy but ever since he'd seen her lying in a pool of her own blood, something had changed inside of him. He needed her, he needed to know she was OK and he needed to show her how much he did actually care about her. While he wasn't always good with all the fluffy words, he was good with actions. The iPhone long forgotten and tumbled down the bed, her hands fisted into his hair while his mouth teased her nipple through tight cotton.

"Oh god."

He scrunched cotton in his palm as he lifted her top, baring her breast to him. He sucked and nipped as she writhed and moaned beneath him. His hand slid between the sheets and down between her thighs. A deep growl rumbled from his chest as he dragged one finger up the silky centre of her. Each hitched breath, each moan that escaped her tingled deep in his cock. He couldn't wait to get inside her.

"Jon--"

"Shhh..." He pushed the top right up and kissed down the centre of her chest, his tongue swirling around her navel. Her creamy athletic body gleamed under the low light of bedside lamp. "I've got to take this slowly..." He licked the tip of her other nipple. "Carefully." His finger pushed the strip of silk aside and slipped inside her.

She grasped the top of his headboard and laid back. "Sweet fuck..."

He chuckled. "That good huh?" His mouth took her breast and he rolled the nipple between his teeth to her delightful sigh.

"You know I could roll you any minute and do this to you right?"
Jon smiled into water soft skin. "Uh huh but you're not. You're on rest so I get to be the boss." He took her jaw, capturing her lips in a fiery kiss. Her nipples dug into his chest as he pressed himself against her, keeping the friction going inside her.

"Shit." Her knuckles turned white and their mouths joined once again.

"Inside me." She whispered in shallow breaths, "Oh god inside..." She closed her eyes, tipped her head back and he let her ride the rhythm of his fingers. God she was beautiful. Her lips parted and he let the slow release of her orgasm roll out under him. She shuddered and her eyes fluttered open. He smoothed back her hair and dropped a kiss onto her lips. "Hey there."
She chuckled and sighed as she stretched. "Mmmm that's a nice trick Mr Bongiovi."

He arched a brow. "Oh I'm not done just yet."

She shifted further up against the pillows. "Oh yea? Well I'm thinking one of us is still wearing too many clothes." She pushed his t-shirt up and he hissed as her nails scraped along his belly. His tee-shirt was discarded and laughed when she tugged him forward by his belt buckle. He grinned as reached down to find the exact spot that would send her flying. He wanted to see her come apart in his arms again, only just a fraction more than he wanted to be inside her.

She closed her legs, clamping his hand between her thighs. "Oh no you don't. Not till I get my hands on what I want."

She cupped him and he felt his knees buckle. He closed his eyes and whispered. "Fuck, Kenz." Her clever hands mastered the zip and she had wrapped her long fingers around his shaft. The pad of her thumb scraped across the tip and he clenched his teeth. Gentle, god keep it gentle. His shoulders felt light and for the first time in the last few days the niggle between the back of his shoulders disappeared.

Her fingers felt feather-light on his cock, he rolled his hips forward, keen to give her as much room as she needed. Anything to let her hands get on him. "Touch me."

Her brow arched at his whispered command. There was no smart-assed response now, she just nodded and pumped him slowly. His lips found hers and the heat blended between them. He palmed her cheek and scraped his thumb up her soft jaw line. He would never doubt her instinct or her instruction again. Most of all he would never doubt his love for her again. If one thing had been made perfectly clear, it was that maybe he didn't have as many lucky breaks in the love department as he'd had with his career. And this one he was determined not to fuck up.

Words were as easy to him as an artist but even now as the most beautiful woman, inside and out he had connected with in hell, well ever. The words swelled in his chest. He was better at showing feelings through actions when it came to matters of the heart, maybe it was a guy thing. "Kenzie."

She ran her hands up his arms and wound them around his neck. "Me too." She kissed his nose and brought him down in for a long lazy kiss. He used his knee to nudge her thighs open and his cock bumped against her centre. He could only stare into the eyes of the woman he was in love with as she wrapped her legs around his waist, her breasts pressed against his chest.

He rolled into her smooth and slow, keeping the friction on a knife's edge between them. His breath staggered as he took her higher. Her nails pinched his shoulders as he could feel her clasp around his cock. God. What was regular sex with this woman going to do to him? He lifted her knee and slid deeper, almost to the point he couldn't stand it.

Her hands cupped his shoulders. "More."

He nodded and increased his pace. She stretched and took him further into him. Sweat poured down his temples and his chest grew tight. The orgasm melted through him with a deep groan. Mackenzie grabbed his ass. "God, now...now..." He let himself go and she trembled and broke apart around him.

"Again..."

There was no question. He took her breast and let his thumb tease her nipple until it was hard as his cock again. He didn't mean to but he rammed into her causing the bed to shake as he build them up all over again. He felt like he could fly, like the one purpose in his life was to make this woman come. Long gone was the outside world of gangs, guns and hurt. All that mattered right now was her. All mattered right now was them.

She came again, and so did he, exhausted. His own orgasm seemed to last forever, spilling everything out of him but Kenzie held onto him. The closeness and the intimacy in this moment didn't match any other he could remember. Her body was slick with sweat, hers and his as they held each other through the aftershocks that rippled through them now and then.

He rolled her onto her side and into his arms, popping off the bedside light in the process. The city lights twinkled in through the windows as their breathings steadied.

"Wow." He felt her smile as he kissed her.

"My thoughts exactly. Where have you been hiding that?"

He laughed his eyes heavy with sleep all of a sudden. "Anything to get you to stop playing with my phone."

She snuggled in, her cheek against his chest. "Hell, I should play with your toys more often." Even though it was dark, he knew she'd have that signature Kenzie smirk right across that pretty face of hers.

"Sounds like a fair competition to me."

She wound her legs in his as they settled. "You know I love a good competition."

He kissed her forehead. "That I do."

Chapter Forty-Six

Her eyes fluttered open and she pulled the sheet up around her neck. God she couldn't wait to get out of there. The sterile smell of hospital had a way of making you just dread the place more and you couldn't get out of there fast enough. She wasn't a patient person at the best of times, but when it was something out of her control it was just so much worse. The sunshine peeked through the slat blinds and she smiled as her eyes rested on the man that had spent the entire night by her side, fast asleep. 

They very much needed to talk amongst the craziness of what happened as they didn't get a chance with David and the police last night. They never caught the thugs and there was no evidence to suggest that they had achieved what they wanted. Hell, they didn't even know what they wanted or what they wanted to achieve by having Jon going there. As the story had unfolded, Jon had admitted to reading an email that was captured by the their incoming security filters on David's computer. She couldn't help but feel guilty, if she had never left it would have never happened. She was always vigilant at locking her laptop when she moved away from it. It was a complete honest mistake by her colleague but in hindsight it could have been a deadly one.

He stirred and she smiled as his eyes met hers. "You OK?" He asked grunting as he arched back in his chair.

"I'm OK, I just want to get out of here."

He chuckled at sat forward rubbing his face with his hands. "That sounds more like you. We'll get you home today Kenz."

Her eyebrow raised as he perched himself on the edge of the bed, her eyes closed as he gently pushed the hair back from her face. He leaned in and she sighed as his lips passed his morning heat through to her. She lifted her hand and palmed his cheek as they kissed again, taking it deeper, urgent. She sighed and closed her eyes enjoying the intimacy that she had been craving from him for weeks. It had always been there, they both just had avoided it. 

"All I could think about when I saw you lying in that heap was that I might not be able to ever do this." His eyes flicked down to her lips and then back to her gaze. "And mean it."

Her heart skipped in her chest and she scraped her thumb along his cheekbone. "Me too." She leaned her forehead on his. "There is so much I want to say and should have said before." She went to continue but he rested his fingers against her lips.

"Me first." He let out a deep breath and his hands dropped down to soothe her arms. "MacKenzie I tried to deny it for so long but the fact is," his gaze met hers. "I'm in love with you." 

His eyes set into the warmest blue and it filled her heart. God she hadn't felt this way in such a long time...well since Brian. She nodded as he kept the intimacy with them barely inches apart.

"I was stupid."

She chuckled and then bit her lip as his expression didn't change from serious. 

"I should have never let it get as far as it did, we were so disjointed and I feel partially to blame for what happened to you."

"Oh Jon, no."

He shook his head and squeezed her hand. She relaxed and waited. "I didn't want to admit there was this thing between us, hell I didn't even know what it was for so long MacKenzie. It wasn't like my marriage.. you're not like my wife at all."

She raised her brow. "Is that a good thing?"

He laughed. "It's a great thing. I can't promise what we'll have is perfect but I can promise you I'll try."

MacKenzie blinked away the urge of tears. "Dammit, you're making me cry Jon. Not fair." She wiped her cheek but smiled when he closed the gap and their lips touched. There was so much to sort out, the gang what was happening next, what did this even all mean but for once MacKenzie let the moment sink in. He was giving her what she wanted. She covered their hands with her other hand and kissed him again. "I will try too. Speaking of marriage, the nurse informs me that we're engaged."

He laughed. "Oh that. I had to lie to get in here. I was going crazy when I didn't know what had happened to you."

"So there is no diamond ring in that pocket?"

"Nope, are you disappointed?"

"No, that would have been cheesy. And we're hardly together let alone in a place to be married?" She hoped she was assuming he felt the same way. Hell, she loved Jon but marriage was a whole different game and she wasn't even sure how she felt about that. 

"No, marriage isn't really my forte at the moment. Maybe one day we'll get there." His fingers dusted down her temple and his thumb traced around the ugly bandage. "They tell me I can take you home today, but you're going to have to stay in bed a couple of days just to rest."

Oh joy. On one level she was looking forward to having Jon fuss over her but on the other side she knew didn't keep still for too long at all. Ugh. "Great. I can at least help David do some research, makes some calls..." She stopped mid sentence as his frown deepened. "What?"

"It's called rest MacKenzie. David is taking care of all that needs to happen and I've given him the reassurance I will co-operate with his decisions and actions around the security. It's all sorted... you just have to get better." 

She sighed and then smirked. "You're really going to listen to everything he recommends you to do?" 

"I am capable in following instructions, occasionally. Kenzie I just want you to worry about getting back to your old self and being my girlfriend."

She leaned back and smiled. " Girlfriend huh? You asking me out?" She wasn't surprised how comfortable she felt with that. It had always been there between them and now that the wall of confusion was removed, it was all too perfectly clear. 

Jon chuckled and flicked her hand playfully. "Don't make me hurt you."

MacKenzie snickered. "Like you'd be able to do that. I'd overpower you in a second."

Jon folded his arms and toyed with a smile. "That sounds like a challenge for the bedroom when you're up to it."

"You are so on." She lay back into the pillows and sighed. There was still an air of uncertainty about the situation. Would they target them again? And how far would they would actually go? If anything this incident proved what MacKenzie had dreaded all along. They were relentless and there was no limits. She wished she knew what they had ultimately planned to achieve with Jon coming to the warehouse? What would they have done? Roughed him up? Kidnapped him? Hell, killed him? The coils in her belly relaxed after she tried to erase the thought. But it was true, anything was possible right now. 

She just had to make sure they were safe back at his apartment and then go from there. 

~

"I'm bored."

Jon rested down the pot of coffee on his bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed. She was propped up against the pillow, sprawled in the middle of his bed with his sheets twisted around her. He had insisted that she stayed in here with him. Where he could wake up in the middle of the night and know that she was safe. The late sun was streaming through the wall of windows but nothing was going to lift her mood. "Here, this is the remote to the TV up there. It has all the channels."

She snatched it off him and sighed. "Great. Can you get my laptop for me?"

Jon poured her a cup and handed it to her. "Nope. Not at least for a day or so Kenz. David has it all under control, he's up in my office at the moment. He'll leave a guard here tonight, I'm not planning on going anywhere so we'll be safe." Jon did what he did so often, he let the outside shine with confidence while he kept his own nerves locked away. She was OK and apart from an incredible sense of guilt and uncertainty, so was was he. 

"Can I at least play with your phone? You have better games than me. Blackberry games suck."

Jon rolled his eyes and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Alright. Password for the iTunes store is Romeo."

MacKenzie grinned as she took it off him. "Aww, that's sweet. Have you told them about all this?" 

Jon shook his head. "No, and they don't need to know that their father was an idiot and nearly had his bodyguard killed."

"Jon that's not what I meant..." But he didn't stay, he left her to play. He needed a cigarette. He snuck out on the balcony and flicked his lighter to life. He closed his eyes and sucked in a lung full of smoke. The flash of her lying limp in his arms streaked in blood, his clothes stained with her blood was going to stay with him a long time. He shook it off and the leaned in, the railing pressing into his belly. Thank god it had been just a grazed bullet. He had shut the nausea down when he kept imagining it could have been much much worse.

And even worse, all his fault.

 
"Nice view..." He didn't turn around when David stepped onto the balcony. "Mind if I have one of those?"

Jon held out the pack. "Go for it." 

"Everything OK?"

Jon nodded and flicked his ash over the side. "Yeah. I'm just glad we're home. Although are we really safe here?"

David joined him at the railing and kept his eyes on the skyline. "Your both safe here. I have security on the door. You need a key-code and card to get it, these gangs after often ruthless but not always that smart, so don't worry too much." 

Jon nodded. "But what about after she's better? I can't stay in this apartment forever. It's not my lifestyle but I don't want to put other people at risk around me."

"We'll figure that out day by day Jon. Don't worry."

He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. "Look David, I hate admitting I was wrong but in this instance I was. I'm sorry I've been an asshole to deal with. I just didn't---" He just didn't know what else he could have done to make this right. But the truth was he couldn't in this instance and to admit that to himself was a bitter pill to swallow. 

"It's OK Jon. This is not an easy thing to deal with, especially one that hasn't had a background in the criminal underworld like yourself. I'm sure it's been frustrating as hell." 

"You're not wrong. Mackenzie's put up with me being a right prick as well. If only things hadn't been so messy, just maybe this wouldn't have happened this way."

"We all make mistakes Jon. I guess one thing this whole thing did achieve was you both sorted out whatever was between you? Yes?" 

"Yeah. We did." He threw David a glance. "You're not going to give me a if you hurt her I'll kick your ass speech are you?" He knew MacKenzie had close family but he also knew David was to her what Richie was to him. Her rock. 

David snorted. "God no, she's more than capable of kicking some guy's ass if they mess her around."

"God, good point. Thanks for the warning." He smiled, she certainly was the most kick ass woman he'd been out with. She even rivalled his ex-wife that knew black-belt Karate so never wanted to end up on the wrong side of MacKenzie.

"All I'm saying is that don't beat yourself up about this Jon. You both made some mistakes. MacKenzie wouldn't hold it against you so don't hold it against yourself."

And there was the problem. He held himself accountable for so many things, it was just who he was. "I'll try."

David smashed his butt into the tray and patted Jon on the back. "Good, I'll get back to work. And to be honest, I'd rather be doing my work than the work you'll be doing to get that one to rest."

"No kidding." Left alone again he took in a few breaths of city air to cool his nerves and headed back inside. Could he forgive himself even though she was OK? 

Only time would tell.

Authors Note: a huge thank you to you guys, for your patience but mostly your compassion. Thank you so much for all your warm thoughts in a time that's been incredibly difficult. Love you guys & the good news is I am all up and running and back on track, life is returning to a new kind of normal after all this earthquake crap. :)

Kiwi

xxx

Update

Some of you are probably wondering where I am.

We've had a pretty large earthquake this week so I'm trying to get my life back to a semi-kind of normal.

Check here for what happened and I promise I'll be back soon!

Update

xxx

Chapter Forty-Five

Jon couldn't remember the last time he sat in an ambulance. Maybe it was when Jake broke his leg trying to play superman off the the large oak tree in their yard. It turned out he was more excited than scared to ride in the ambulance and the medics had a ball entertaining him all the way. This however, was entirely different. They worked on her like clockwork as they ripped open packages of gauze pads and set up an IV for her.

"You look OK Mr Bon Jovi but I'm just going to check for any injuries."

Jon nodded but his eyes remained on Kenzie for any signs of life as the medic carefully patted him down. 

"Did you want me to ring someone? We're about two minutes from the hospital. Is there someone we can ring for her or you?"

Jon reached into his pocket for his phone and stared at it. Who did he call for her? He knew her well enough but he didn't know anything about her family. She had parents just like him. Did she have a close friend? God, he'd lived with this woman for weeks and they knew each other on a different level but what else did he exactly know about her? He didn't even have David's number but her Blackberry would.

"Uh, her partner...will be David on her Blackberry." He nodded towards her. 

"And you?" He leaned in and slid a stethoscope under his sweater.  

"Yeah. I"ll call a friend." Jon blinked as he shone the pen light in his eyes. 

"Great. You're visibly OK.  Do you feel dizzy or sick?"

Jon shook his head. Ok well that was a lie. He could do with throwing up. She was lying on that gurney because of him. She came down here because of him. She just took a bullet because of him. For once in his life he was wrong and he knew it. Jon's finger hovered above Richie's number. What did he even say? For a man that could pen the brilliant lyric now and again. He was stumped.

The ambulance stopped and the back doors popped open with emergency staff waiting on hand to carry Kenzie out. He didn't want to let her go, he wasn't sure when he'd see her again. 

He swallowed, if he'd see her again.

"Come with me, we'll get you somewhere private and you can make that call Mr Bon Jovi." He was assisted out of the ambulance and was led to a private room.

"Where are they taking her?" He turned his head as they whisked her down the corridor. 

"They'll take her to trauma so we can get a better view of her condition. Don't worry she's in the best possible place. She worked with you for long?"

Jon raised his brow. "Yeah, a few weeks." Of course, they wouldn't assume she was anything more than his bodyguard. He wondered how that would effect getting any information on her condition but he wasn't about to pour his damn heart out to a medic. He stood and stared at the small consult room. They were here because of him and his stupidity and that in itself was a bitter pill to swallow. 

He reached for his phone and pulled Richie's number up. Richie would come down here in a flash he had no doubt about that. He just wasn't sure if he wanted him here right now. He was still coming to terms with what had just happened and tried to make sense of it all in his head. He needed a minute and he needed to be with MacKenzie. He slipped his phone back in his pocket, he'd call Richie later after he'd seen Kenzie. After he knew for certain she was going to be ok because if she wasn't, he didn't want anyone to see him have to deal with that. 

"All done?" The medic popped his head in and smiled.

"Yes I'm all done. I'll have someone come in soon. Is there somewhere I can get a cup of coffee while I wait?" He would kill some time while they worked with MacKenzie.

"Yes, at the end of this wing there is a small cafe. Are you sure you're ok? I can have one of the nurses stay with you if you want?"

Jon held his hand up and shook his head. "I'm ok. I just need a minute. I'll get a coffee and wait."

"There's something else. The police will be wanting to speak to you at some point but we held them off for a wee bit."

He managed a small smile. "I appreciate that." He wondered if he could get arrested for stupidity as that was the only cause in this situation.

"No problems. The nurse's station is just out here. If you need anything you just ask or if you start feeling funny."

Jon nodded and thanked him again. Was it even safe to go and get a cup of coffee? He honestly didn't know anymore. Surely the gang wouldn't be so stupid to try anything here in the middle of a public place. But he'd been wrong about a lot of things. He smiled at the nurse who nodded in his direction as he made his way down to the cafe. He had a coffee, he wished he had something stronger to slip into it and he could have killed for a cigarette but they were in his car. 

He welcomed the fresh air on the enclosed smoking balcony. God, why had he been such an idiot? He gripped the railing and kicked his foot against it. What he'd done was selfish. What if something had happened to her? Hell, to him? What would that do to his kids? The band? Everything that he'd ever worked for? Gone in the blink of an eye.

He crumpled the cup in his hand, tossed it in the bin and headed back in. He waited until a nurse recognised him, he wasn't above playing the famous guy if it got him what he wanted.

"Are you ok Mr Bon Jovi?"

He dug his hands in his pockets. "The woman that came in with me, I was wondering how she was doing?" He rolled back on his heels.

She looked over her shoulder. "She's been taken to a room but I'm afraid that until we notify the next of kin, I can't let you see her."

Jon winced and scratched the back of his head. "If I told you she's my fiancé would that change things?" He also wasn't above lying to get what he wanted. He needed to see her and he'd do exactly what it took.

The nurse's eyes widened. "I understand. Say no more. We pride ourselves on discretion here Mr Bon Jovi. Let me show you to her room."

His chest tightened. A ball of relief and panic bounced around inside of him, now he'd have to face exactly what he'd done.

"Thank you so much." He was shown into a room. She was lying in bed with a wide white bandage around her head and her eyes closed. She looked soft, relaxed, alive.

"I'll send the doctor in to talk to you." 

He took a step in and carefully closed the door behind him. "Kenzie?" He dragged the chair closer to her bed. She had a couple of colored tubes sticking in her but there was no beeps, no ventilator. No beeps was good right? He took her hand in-between both of his and lifted it to his lips. He closed his eyes and pressed her hand against his cheek, feeling the warmth of her against him. "Thank God." She mumured and he leaned in closer. "I'm here Kenzie. You're ok baby."

Her eyes fluttered open. "Jon?" 

He smiled and swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. "I'm here. You're ok."

Her fingers curled around his hand and she whispered, "you're not hurt?" Her sleepy brown eyes stared back at him.

He shook his head, the woman was amazing. Even now, she was concerned about his well being when he wasn't the one lying in a hospital bed. "I'm fine Kenzie. God, I thought..." His belly churned with just the thought of what could have been.

She smiled and blinked slowly. "Don't be silly. You were very brave Jon."

His eyes flicked back to hers. "Kenzie I was--"

"Incredibly stupid." Her voice was a raw wheeze. 

He nodded and tugged her hand to his chest. "I know. You can kick my ass later but just rest now, ok?" He leaned over dropped a light kiss on her forehead and then flicked his eyes down to hers. There was so much to say but now wasn't the time they had to get through whatever this was and her well being was for now the top priority. 

"K." Her head rolled into the pillow and her breathing became steady. She had no visible signs of anything sinister but he wasn't the doctor here. He wasn't going anywhere, he would stay at her side for as long as it took.

~

MacKenzie licked her lips, her throat was as coarse as sandpaper but she was ok. He was ok. She curled her hand but opened her eyes when it closed around nothing. She was sure Jon was here. She squinted and focused on the nurse that was adjusting her drip. She held her hand up and croaked. "Water?"

"Oh honey you're awake. Here, let me help you." She settled MacKenzie up into the pillows and handed her a plastic clear cup with a white straw. 

"Thanks." MacKenzie couldn't bite back the whimper as she handed the water back to the nurse.

"Just easy sweetheart. You're ok but just a little banged up."

Where was Jon? Had she dreamt he was here safe with her? Panic and nausea rolled through her. "Where is the man that came in with me?" He did come in with her right?

The nurse cheerily fluffed her pilows. "Oh your fiance?"

MacKenzie arched her brow. "Excuse me?" Her what?

The nurse winked and stood back. "Don't worry sweets. I won't tell a soul. He just needed some fresh air and a refill to his coffee.

Her eyes widened. "What? He can't just go roaming around out there alone. You do know what happened to us?" Fear collided in her belly. They could be anywhere.

"Relax, it's all enclosed and we have some policeman that have just arrived. He's probably talking to them."

MacKenzie closed her eyes. She reached up to the side of her head, it still stung where the bullet had grazed her. God she was a lucky woman. "I need to see him, please. Can you go and get him?"

The nurse quickly nodded. "Of course." It all blurred. Her going after Jon to the steel mill, her body going into shock when she was scraped by a bullet. God. She'd tried to tell him she was ok but her body shut down in shock. All the training in the world couldn't stop her body from doing its natural reflex. He must have been beside himself. He was still pig headed and stupid for doing what he did but she was glad he was OK. She just had to concentrate on those facts for now before she ripped him in two. 

The door swung open and she felt her shoulders drop in relief. "Hey."

His jeans were all dirty, battered, and the ribbed grey sweater he was wearing was ripped at the edges and blood splattered. "Kenzie." He smiled and it just reached his eyes as he perched himself on the edge of the bed next to her. "You're awake."

"I was before, wasn't I?"

He nodded and placed his cup of coffee on her bedside table. "Yes but you were drowsy. They gave you some pretty heavy pain killers but on the face of it, you're ok." She watched his fingers dig into the mattress. "I thought you'd been shot in the head, there was so much...god, so much blood."

She covered his hand with hers and their eyes met. "I know, I wanted to tell you I was ok but I just couldn't. Everything moved in slow motion, it was just awful. I'm glad you're ok." Her eyes followed his lips as he moved in closer. The kiss was fierce but short. If she'd lost him, she would have never forgiven herself. 

"I'm sorry. I should have never gone out there." He didn't pull back his face hovered in front of hers. 

"No you should never have done that Jon, you could have been killed. There's one thing I can't work out though, how did you get hold of them?"

His eyes flicked down at her hand and then back to hers. "I read David's email. The interception of the email. They'd emailed me to call. I didn't even know that you guys were doing that, but I guess there is a lot of things I didn't know. I just wanted it to end, I hated it. I hated what it was doing to my life...to us." His eyes looked so sad that it melted her anger away.

She swallowed and squeezed his hand. "Oh Jon. I know you hated what was happening to you, to your control. But as much as you think it. You're not Superman. These guys are thugs, and to have any chance against them you need to think like a thug and you aren't trained to. You never had a chance."

He sighed. "You know that should hurt my ego but you're right."

A smile toyed on her lips. "I'm sorry, did you just admit that I was-" This time the kiss came longer, slower, deeper. His hand cupped the back of her neck and he poured himself into her. She moaned and threw her arms around his neck diving head first in. It felt comfortable, it felt easy, it felt right. So much was still up in the air and she was itching to get David in here and pick this apart before the cops got too involved. And her and Jon where did they stand? They clearly had things to discuss in that department and she wasn't sure after the fiancé remark if she was ready to. She'd admitted she loved him but she wasn't ready to admit it was forever. 

He pulled back and his thumb brushed her cheek. "Kenzie-"

The door popped open and the doctor strolled in. "Miss Cooper. It's good to see you awake. I'm here to let you know, you're going to be fine. We were worried about a little concussion so we're going to keep you in here just tonight but you should be fine. The wound is minor on your temple, but I'd like you to be on bed rest for a few days."

She groaned. She was fine for goodness sake and she had things to do. 

He lifted his finger. "Now now, Mr Bon Jovi has told me you'll be under his watch."

She arched a brow. "Oh really?" She couldn't be mad, they had a lot to talk about and she figured she would be going back to the apartment just not as his bodyguard. But not as his fiancé either thank you very much.

"David is on his way down here, he'll be able to take care of the business side of things." Jon added. Mind reader. 

"Fine." She crossed her arms but frowned when it tugged on her IV line.

Jon smoothed back her hair and kissed her forehead. "Oh yeah, you're going to make a fine patient Mackenzie." 

She didn't do sick and she certainly didn't do bed rest. There was still so much left unresolved that it sat uneasy in her belly. The doctor left them to it and she dropped her head back into the pillows. Damn pain killers. "Stay with me," she murmured and reached for his hand.

Just before she slipped into sleep she felt his lips against her skin. "I'm not going anywhere Kenz."