Saturday, January 22, 2011
MacKenzie groaned and squinted as the sun bled into the room. She winced as she moved to roll but she was tangled with her bed partner and god, her whole body felt like it had been slammed into a Mac truck. Jon was sprawled face first on his belly, buried in a pillow. She lay back for a second and blinked at the ceiling. They must have passed out in the end and missed the rest of the party - Ouch.
She slid her body up against his back and tucked her chin in the back of his shoulder just to feel that safety she always had around him. He mumbled and then smiled, his eyes still shut.
She kissed the side of his head and laid her cheek against warm skin. If only they could stay here forever and live the illusion that everything about this was normal. But no, she couldn’t even get dressed with her boyfriend then walk down Soho for a bagel arm in arm enjoying the simplicity of being outside without the threat of someone firing a bullet at them.
He groaned. “My head hurts.”
She chuckled. “Well that might be the small liquor shop that you drunk before you decided to nail me to the bed.”
He yawned and then stretched under her. “Yeah I did go a bit crazy.”
“Did you want to talk about it?”
He exhaled, sighed and turned over on his side facing away from her. She was wrapped herself around him from behind. Her hands slid around his waist and he rested his on top of hers. “I lost it on the balcony with Tico. Not my brightest moment.”
She frowned and tightened her grip around him. “What do you mean lost it?” She’d known something had been off about him from the minute he’d been fawning over her in front of Richie.
He shrugged. “Lost my ability to pretend that I am ok with this, that I like having one of the only things I have to have taken away from me. My freedom.”
“Oh Jon, I’m sorry.” That explain the desperation and need that had poured out of him and of course the control fuck-fest he’d initiated.
He shrugged. “It is what it is but I’m just sick of living like a prisoner in my own home. I hate it. And my kids…” He swallowed. “I just want to see my kids.”
“I know. I know you do.” She kissed his back, she hated what this was doing to him. In some ways this is what was harder being so close to the action. Emotional investment. She knew why they had to do what they did to keep him safe but the reality of him dealing with it tugged at her.
“How do you do it? I mean all this? And still stay sane?”
She laughed softly. “Years of training. Doesn’t mean I don’t go insane. This has been one of the hardest things I’ve dealt with – for obvious reasons as well.”
He snorted softly. “What you don’t fall in love with your charges often?”
She patted his hand. “Only the good looking smart-assed ones.” He twisted around so he was facing her and she slid her leg up over his. The kiss was slow and she relaxed into his heat. “I can’t wait until this is over.”
“You’ll get to go home to your own apartment.”
“It doesn’t even feel like my apartment anymore. I’m so used to being here so I’d watch out if I was you. A girl gets used to these kinds of modern comforts too easily. I might never leave.”
His mouth twitched at the corners. “That might not be so bad.”
Her brow winged. “Oh yea?” While it came as a surprise he was so at ease with the idea it felt right. They were both people that didn’t give up their own independencies easily but that was why it would work. They both understood that and they knew how to live like that. Of course they would actually be able to live without having to be attached to each other. So with that she figured that if they could live in each other’s pockets when forced to, they could live normally.
He stroked his thumb across her cheek. “I didn’t think I’d be back here ever but some things just work out like that.”
She smiled and her heart felt full. More than it had in a long time. “Yeah they do. You know I won’t be easy to live with right?”
Jon laughed. “Uh hello?"
She eased into him and his gaze stayed on hers. "We're the perfect match then." A small part of her was a little sad it had taken her this long in her life to get to this point. It was all her own choice, she never wanted to settle down and it had taken a considerable amount of time before she'd look at a guy after Brian had died.
"Now you've gone all serious."
She ran her fingers through his chest and lightly across his pecks. "I was just being a girl and thinking I'd wish I'd not closed myself off so long from love." Her gaze lifted to his and she smiled. "However I may have never found you then."
"Ha! Touché. Love is not always a bed of roses. I think the older you get you understand it more and how it works." He soothed his hands over her arms and her hips but stopped when she winced.
He tugged the sheet down and his eyes popped. "Please don't tell me I did that."
She glanced down at the angry red marks streaked across her hip where his fingers dug in last night. "Oh yeah. You abused me, I'll have to owe you for that."
He rolled her towards him on her side. "Christ and your back!"
"That's just probably the door. Really it's fine Jon. I'm a tough nut."
"Jesus Christ, sorry Kenz I didn't realize I was that rough."
She put her hands on each side of his neck and shushed him. “Relax--as I said. I'll pay you back. I'm up one raping so just watch your back." She knew that for Jon to have been that out of control to get control was a human instinct that they both would have shared. She also was trained to know when a person was truly acting with intent to harm and Jon just wasn't that person. She would have nailed him to the floor by his balls otherwise.
He forced the smile then settled as she rubbed his neck. "Ok, One raping all yours."
He'd never hurt a woman in his life, sure when him and Dot had a bit of a grab and tumble there were some bumps but nothing that compared to the angry red finger marks on her hips and splotches across her back where he rammed her. He wasn't used to being so pent up with frustrated energy he couldn't control like that. It remained true to the whole situation though, he clearly wasn't in any kind of control and who knew how much more he could handle.
If he hadn't found Kenzie and her business would he have gone to the police over all this? What would have happened then? Would he have pissed them off even more than he had now? Hell he was pissing them off for fucking breathing at this point.
"Hey, where did you go?"
He found her warm brown gaze staring back at him. "Sorry, just in my head."
"It must be big and rattle in there. You do that a lot."
He relaxed as her nails raked through his chest hair. "Yeah I do don't I?" He pushed her hair back from her forehead and kissed it taking in her ginger scent like a drug. "Now, I'm going to have pretty pissed party guests since we retired early because of me so I'll have some damage control to do today."
MacKenzie opened her mouth but the shattering of glass outside their door slammed her body into his and he was rolled right off the bed and his face mashed into the floor with the weight of her followed close behind. The door flew open and David stormed in.
"Living room window, get him in the bathroom now!" MacKenzie was hauled off him and David hooked his arms under his and dragged him into his ensuite. His ass hit the cold tiles and his heart pounded in his throat.
"Stay in here and stay down!" He threw Jon the sheet and slammed the door. Jon wrapped himself in the sheet and felt like a rug had just been pulled out under his feet, along with his dignity. He cowered into the shower, the walls were caving in. The reasoning was here but the fear was eating him alive to care. Where was MacKenzie?
He heard shouts between MacKenzie and David and footsteps thunder down the stairs. Christ, was anyone still here? Half of his guests could be passed out in the living room? His head spun and his belly lurched. He leaned over the bowl and emptied the contents of his stomach and slumped back into the corner. Were they going to be killed? The walls were choking him. His throat felt like it was the size of a quarter, he could barely breathe and his chest was tight.
Time was endless. Every second felt like a minute, every heartbeat a lifetime. He was a caged animal that couldn't even fight to find his way out. This is what it had come to.
"MacKenzie!" He huddled in the base of his shower as he couldn't hear any movement outside the door. Christ, what if he shouted and just led whoever the fuck was shooting up his house in here? He sank lower.
What if they killed them and then found him? Oh god. He folded his arms, his skin was like ice. "Kenzie?" He asked in barely a whisper as his voice cracked. He closed his eyes and wished he could open them and he'd be somewhere else, waking from a bad dream in a hotel room or having one of the kids jumping all over him. God anything. What if he never saw them again? His babies? His daughter, would he see her graduate, date? God forbid get married? Jesse make the college football team? The NFL? His belly bottomed out again. Romeo and Jakey--would he ever get to play wrestle Daddy to the ground with them? See them grow up and--
"Jon, I need you to get dressed." The door flew open and jeans, shoes and a top were thrown into the bathroom. Kenzie!
"What's going on? Kenzie! Thank god I-" his eyes dropped to the gun that was tucked into the waistband of her jeans. She was dressed and her hair was back in her no nonsense pony-tail.
"We've got to get out of here. David's on the phone ringing your pilot. We're driving to Teteboro and we're getting on a plane outta here."
His mind was trying to stack the questions he had in some kind of logical order but it all came out scrambled. "Are people OK? Was anyone hurt? Where--" he took a deep breath as she clutched each side of his arms and blew it out.
"Jon I need you to just focus. No one is here except the three of us. We're all ok. A bullet went into your living room and the glass is all over the place. It's safest to get you out of here now. Police are on their way to secure the building but David and I decided we are going now. We'll go down the coast to Jacksonville Florida just until we know what's going on. I've already packed you a go-bag for you if this ever happened. So get dressed and we'll go."
A go-bag? Who the hell was he Bruce Willis? She was deadly calm and she had flipped into bodyguard mode which meant this was bad. Very very bad. "Uh ok...just...my phone."
"Got it all. Don't panic, just get dressed and leave the rest to me. You trust me. So trust me now with everything you've got."
Her eyes were earnest and he nodded. "Ok I'll get dressed."
She wrapped her arms around him tight, kissed him and stood back. "Good. I'll be back in two minutes to get you." She closed the door behind him and he looked up at the tiny window that was the only thing left between him and a world full of danger. He had to trust her because right now he didn't even trust himself to survive this.